Badamgerel
Basic information
Interviewee ID: 990911
Name: Badamgerel
Parent's name: Tsoojiljav
Ovog: [blank]
Sex: f
Year of Birth:
Ethnicity: [unknown]
Additional Information
Education: [unknown]
Notes on education:
Work:
Belief:
Born in: Otgon sum, Zavhan aimag
Lives in: sum (or part of UB), Ulaanbaatar aimag
Mother's profession:
Father's profession:
Themes for this interview are:
(Please click on a theme to see more interviews on that topic)
Alternative keywords suggested by readers for this interview are: (Please click on a keyword to see more interviews, if any, on that topic)
Please click to read an English summary of this interview
Please click to read the Mongolian transcription of this interview
Translation:
Byambajavв -
I thank you very much for accepting my invitation and
coming here to participate in this interview. Well, before
the interview I have a few questions to ask from you.
Firstly, historians and scholars will use information
contained in your interview after a century, may be after
many centuries in their research, it may be used as
reference material in articles on history in newspapers and
journals, in broadcasts by TV and radio. So would you give
the permission to use the information you gave us in these
areas.
Badamgerel -
Oh, I give the permission.
Byambajavв -
Well, thank you very much. Aa, if you so wish you may
keep your name concealed in this interview. Or else you may
without hiding openly say it. What is your choice?
Badamgerel -
We can mention it..
Byambajavв -
So it is possible, yes?
Badamgerel -
Yes.
Byambajavв -
Leave it without hiding it.
Badamgerel -
It means leaving it without concealing.
Byambajavв -
Let’s now start the inter... the interview. Now will
you first of all introduce yourself and speak about
yourself, about your family, in general, about your…
Badamgerel -
Aa haa
Byambajavв -
Introduce yourself well…
Badamgerel -
Well, I am called (my name is)Choijilyn Badamgerel.
I am from Otgon soum of Zavkhan aimag, of the soum. Aa, I
spent my childhood in Zavkhan aimag. Aa then after I
finished 10 year school I studied in a school of Radio and
technique in the former USSR (kept silence for a while) then
…mmm…graduated from there and met my husband…Aan we were
married in 1986 after our wedding I gave birth to twins…and
now my two daughters ….has reached the age of 19. After 5
years… since their birth my son was born. A son was born. He
is now in his fifth grade. Aa, the brief (biography) of my
family, aa my (biography) is this. My husband after
graduating from the school (institute) is working in
television repair for nearly twenty years. As for the
duration of employment, I worked for the state for 3 years
in general. Well, if you ask …mmm…why for such a short
period? When I gave birth to my son (0-03-40 / 41), he was
diagnosed as having epilepsy, so I had to take care of my
child and could not work. For quite some time, until my son
was almost ten years old I looked after him and this means I
was not working for almost ten years. Yes, during this
period in one’s life there were many sad and gloomy days as
well as joy and happiness. Aa, then what was the happiest
moments in my life. When I graduated from the school
(institute) and came back, gave birth to twins and became a
daughter-in-law, these were, most probably, the happiest
moments in my life I think. Then the childhood years are, in
general, the happiest time, you don’t have any worries. This
and that…mmm…are provided readily by our fathers and
mothers. Aa, then when my twin daughters were only 5 months
old my mother passed away (gulped her saliva). Since then my
father …I have been living together with my family in my
fathers apartment until the 6th micro district was
constructed and we received an apartment. Then…my husband
used to drink a little, at that time it was understandable
because he was also (like me) depressed and sad. Aa, when I
was looking after my child and sitting home my father used
to say ”I’ll take care of the child, my daughter you should
socialize, study and educate yourself, you should be amid
the society. How long can you sit home looking after your
child?” So my father was taking care of my child and I went
out looking for some school where could study, that time I
had very few acquaintances, so while walking I came across
Narantsetseg, wife of a lama whom I happened to know. She
was, the one, who for the first time told me that there is a
religious lesson why don’t you attend it. So I started
attending the lessons that time our Tibetan teacher had not
yet arrived. He was no there yet and only Mongolian teachers
were starting to conduct the lessons. Now, there is this
teacher Gundsambuu.
Byambajavв -
Aa, yes (cleared his throat)
Badamgerel -
Teacher Gundsambuu of Gandan was talking about
Lamrim, he was explaining Lamrin, I think now. He would give
explanations of Lamrim and then take us to Gandan for daily
recitals. Aa, we recited Itgel and other hymns. I recited
those scriptures and was very interested, in general, I
think that…mmm…my father and mother helped me from childhood
to become a believer, a devotee of religion. I assume that
they embedded faith in me, and laid the foundation of faith.
Since the time I became conscious…mmm…my mother when we went
out in the evening to relieve ourselves she applied soot on
my nose and would say you are now a hare with a blaze on the
forehead, this will defend your from fear, then she told me
the tale of Nogoon Darhi (Green Tara). Once upon a time two
devils wanted to harm the child of an ail (household) but
while they were watching the child was turned into a hare
with a blaze on the forehead (0-07-23-25) and the mother
recited some part of the tarni (dharani) when the two devils
looked up…they saw a lame hare she told this tale to me and
used to say this was how it will defend you. My daughter,
you should recite this tarni (dharani) from the bottom of
your heart. And also she told me if you are going to remove
a stone or going to dig land, you should recite this tarni
and used to teach me many things from scriptures. So that
faith influenced me from the very beginning (0-07-54-55) to
learn and study religious scriptures. Then… until 7 I was
alone at home. I had no younger sibling…my younger sister?
was not born, she was born when I was 7 years old. Aa, until
then my mother and father used to amuse me by the following
way, they gave me a plate of millet and a plate of rice and
also gave me a bottle. So I used to put a grain of millet or
rice in turn into the bottle saying “Um mani bad mi hum”
thus reciting the prayer I spent almost the whole day. When
I recall those days and think over it now my father and
mother were using a very clever method of education.
Byambajavв -
Yes.
Badamgerel -
By doing that I learned to be patient in the first
place, yes, I put the grain one by one and counted them, I
don’t know whether any child would be doing that or not. So
at there and continued counting, at first one type of grain
then the other, then they would mix the grains and gave it
back to me. So I would separate the grains, while separating
count them, this was the way my parents amused me, I was the
only pampered baby of the family. Then eventually these
grains would become soiled and black in colour, when it
happens my mother would tell me let’s take it and feed the
mountain animals (mouse), so we would climb high hills and
where there is a lot of grass…and there are many mouse. And
we would put that grain at mouth of their holes. Now, I
don’t think I can bring up my children in such way and give
that knowledge and understanding. Now, there is no one who
brings up the child in that manner, …it is probably very
rare…
Byambajavв -
Now, you …
Badamgerel -
( Laughs)
Byambajavв -
Is it possible.
Badamgerel -
We should bring up (the children). Of course, it is
possible. Now, I think about it very often, ponder about it,
but sometimes I think it is already late. That was how I was
brought since the time I became conscious. So since I was a
small child, I counted the manis (prayers) and tarnis
(mantras) from the bottom of my soul. It was wonderful and
my father and mother in that manner managed so that I could
make a lot of merits. Now, I feel greatly obliged to my
father and mother, it was they who by educating me at home,
laid the foundation of everything I have, it is the
upbringing in the family that influences (your future), it
determines it.
Byambajavв -
Yes, of course.
Badamgerel -
Yes. So when I started attending lessons on
scriptures I had high expectations. And when my mother died
I decided to read dunchuur (hundred million) manis, I had no
idea what dunchuur manis meant, I heard people say that
reading dunchuur manis makes great merit and made a pledge
to myself to count it, so since then I had read a dunchuur
mani. Towards the end you lose the count, so I stopped
counting it. When I first attended the lesson the Buddhist
scriptures, I recalled all that and when teachers explained
the scriptures I felt that as though I was fully immersed in
it. It happened when Dalai bagsh arrived (in Mongolia) and
delivered preaching on “Duinkhoryn Van” (consecration of
wheel of time), before that he also had delivered
“Duinkhoryn Van” then after that all those who attended the
preaching were told to meditate on the compound of the
Gandan. We were told: imagine that there are many Burkhans
(Buddhas) all over the sky, imagine that the Tsagaan Dari
Ekhe ( Goddess White Tara) is present, and see your own
light. So I started meditating and I created a beautiful
image in my mind, there were so many Burkhans, as many as in
a Christian church and I got very excited. It was a time
when my mother died, I thought that my mother is there and
she is looking at me, when I imagined in this way, I
involuntarily started weeping and various thoughts came to
my mind. I was very excited. So when I was attending lessons
on scriptures, a Tibetan teacher came to our centre, I
attended his lessons, came to know him and later I began to
help him. Because at that time there was no job that I could
really do, I wanted to help them from the bottom of my
heart, and I took the materials to be copied on “Canon”, for
example if they wanted to reproduce scriptures I would spare
a few tugrugs and had them copied. Thus I went on. As for
the teacher, I think that being a teacher of a person means
that he is there in the place of your father and mother.
From this point of view I look at my teachers as my father
and mother if you think of him in this sense then you
respect your teacher to the fullest of respect and esteem,
this is what I think. Aa, then teacher was handwriting the
sutras together with this Chuluuntsetseg. And I used to help
them in copying and reproducing those handwritten sutras.
Thus this very precious association of ours has
begun.(Laughed) So it went on like this then my father died
in 2000…in 1999. Thus I have become a full orphan, with only
one young sibling, two of us. It is very inconvenient for a
person to have a few relatives. It is difficult when you
encounter different problems… when there is problem to whom
you should address. Then for me my younger sibling (brother
or sister?)…is too young, the child is seven years younger
than me. Even if I told him/her about my problems she/he
will not take it that close to heart, will not understand.
So to whom shall I confide…with whom shall I speak. So I
spoke about it with my teacher only. I tell all my
difficulties and problems to my teacher. Aa, then the
companion of your life is a person and is a pillar for you
to support. So with the support of these kind people I have
reached this level of my living. Then, in general, people
arrange their livelihood with the support of each other, in
close interdependence from each other. Otherwise, when you
think over, there is nothing I can say that I created it,
I’d done it. Therefore, you must care for others, care for
the environs, love your family members, respect your
neighbours. Now, when my family is not in town, say we are
at the summer camp, our neighbours will look after and
defend our apartment. If they don’t do, there could be a
different story. Aa, I also always think that people should
love…love each other.
Byambajavв -
When did you first meet your Gevsh teacher, can you tell us about your impression of that period?
Badamgerel -
At first it was teacher Gundsambuu who taught us the
lessons then in 96 oh no 2000, was it in 97 (0-15-17-18) I
forgot the year. One day at a lesson teacher Gundsambuu said
from tomorrow a genuine Tibetan teacher will give you the
lessons. So we were sitting at the lesson. At that time only
four or five people attended lessons on Buddhist religion.
They were mostly grandmothers I was the only young woman.
(Laughed) Then while we sat there a brown skinned young man
came in started giving lesson, I did not know the language,
did not understand in what language he was speaking, but we
had a translator, Gundsambuu bagsh was translating. When we
were told he was the teacher from Tibet…at that time we had
never seen a Tibetan before and it was very interesting. We
thought Tibetans look just like Mongols. So we continued our
lessons and later…after almost a year we had a lot of
people. I found out that even before that quite few people
his disciples used to help my teacher. So I came to know
better my teacher after a year. The reason I came to know
him well was the following once during a lesson he said, he
was encountering some difficulties in reproducing and
distributing religious books, as I heard it I decided to
help the teacher in this matter. So one day I asked the
teacher what do you need? (үр удмаараа-probably wrong
transcription) Shall we help but the teacher replied no, no,
there is no need. Then one day after the lesson he told me
to attend the other lessons he was giving to a small group.
When I came to attend the lesson, there were three lamas and
Chuka four of them. So I joined and 5 of us were attending
the lessons. Chuka translated and the three lama…aan the
three lama and myself were taking notes, that time I did not
know Tibetan script…I have not even seen it (laughed) I
can’t write…and always lagged behind so teacher told them to
write it for me. And they wrote the lessons for me. It went
this way then my father was diagnosed as having stomach
cancer so I could not continue the lessons. Then at that
time my husband used to drink and I was living under heavy
psychological pressure. When I tried to tell about it to my
teacher he would not understand, my teacher does not know
Mongolian. He spoke only few words, he virtually did not
know Mongolian language. But I was ashamed from
Chuluuntsetseg and could not to ask Chuka to translate for
me. (laughed) In my view it was tantamount to vilifying to
the teacher that my husband is a drinker and I was
embarrassed. So I was wondering how to tell about it to my
teacher, one day when Chuka and me were sitting in teachers
office, Chuka told him about her life. Then she also told
me. I am in great difficulty, I also have this problem
sister Badmaa she said. Then since we are women, we found a
common language instantly and I also told her that my
husband was drinking, I have also the same problem. And we
both told about it to the teacher (0-18-50-53). Then the
teacher said a lot of nice words to pacify our minds. Out of
the feeling of joy, forgot what I said in response. I was
pleasantly pacified and reassured, since then my attitude to
the teacher has become more and more close and gradually I
have established a very close working relations with my
teacher as well as a very precious association of the
teacher and the disciple.
Byambajavв -
Will you tell me in more details exactly in which
year that centre was constructed and the meritorious deeds
accomplished by it since then?
Badamgerel -
Yes, the construction of our centre has started from
March 2, 2003. The foundation was laid on that day and by
the 15, 16th of October 2003 it was commissioned, I think.
Then at our centre our teacher conduct lessons explaining
Buddhist religion on the subject of skill of living to
students and youth, to any one who are interested regardless
of their age. Aa, after the centre was established the
teacher taught this lesson in addition to that we organized
a training courses on tailoring as well as conduct
handicraft course for low income female heads of households
in order to provide them the opportunity to get an access to
new sources of income. In that course ancient methods of
embroidering are taught for 35 days, on completion they
receive a special code, and by that code they bring to us
the products they made at home, we buy the product and take
the responsibility for sale. For those who are industrious
and active this is a substantial support to continue their
activities. Some of them thanks to this support now have
their own house and various other items. Before this centre
was built the teacher gave to 2-3 persons now this wireless
white telephone sets.
Byambajavв -
Yes.
Badamgerel -
He bought and gave it to them.
Byambajavв -
Huh…
Badamgerel -
When he gave these telephone sets he also developed a
plan for them, well, if you received an income of ....so
many tugrugs today, you may spend so many for food, so many
you should deposit in savings account monthly. With that
plan he gave the telephone sets. Aa, as a result…this…there
is a woman by the name of Tungalag. She earned considerable
amount of money and bought a khashaan (fenced compound) with
a house. This is how their life is supported…mmm…if the
person himself is determined then as the saying goes “If the
master is determined, the fate follows the course ”, it is
the plain truth, yeah. In general when one studies the
religious philosophy he/she understands a lot of things.
Some apparently…develops psychic(extrasensory) ability to
see… and feel things. I, at least, think so. A person may be
depressed and sad, and think that it is because of somebody,
that someone did that and this or he/she was happy but now
life has become a misery, who is responsible for it. Then
that person should understand that all this is his/her own
fault. It is because of him/her that everything is sliding
down, The person himself is at fault. But we do not
understand it but think everything is depending from others.
If your husband drinks vodka, then you scold the other
person, it is you who drink the vodka together with him and
you gave him the drink. I have been such a fool. When I
recall that and think about it, it is just horrible. Today,
when we were waiting for teacher Tsermaa to conduct her
lesson, I was telling Otgoo when we now listen to what
people are talking about and listen to what they are saying,
we have been walking our eyes closed, aren’t we. There is no
way of propping some one up if that person himself has no
motivation to do so, no matter how hard another person tries
to guide him or her to the right direction with sincere
desire to help…it will not yield any result. For me, at
least, I think, today it is proven beyond any
doubt.(laughed) If you ask why I prove with such a
confidence then I can say that different people come here to
attend the training courses, they attend sewing courses,
then there are people who are sincerely motivated and think
that if I do this from the bottom of my soul, then it will
give me its benefit, they are totally different from others,
even the products they bring to us are different. But if a
person is only interested in getting some money and sew for
this purpose alone, things did not work, even the money they
receive will not bring them any benefit. And they will
usually come to tell us tales of sufferings. I am not
getting anywhere. I had a debt of so many tugrugs, I can’t
get rid of that debt until now, thus they will continue talk
and talk. Aa, there is a person who tailor an item for a
month sincerely and meticulously, afraid that it may be
rejected, it may become unattractive. Then there are
individuals who were concerned that we’ll sell the product
and show to foreigners, and tailored it from the bottom
their heart afraid that the product will become
unattractive, then the product will be sold quickly and the
money they get will really be money worthwhile. So…I always
and think and wish that everyone understand this very well.
That is why people should attend training courses at our
centre…should listen to the sermons…in comparison with past
it has become very nice today. There are many meditation
courses, many interesting lectures are given. A person can
express his views freely, isn’t it. Students and trainees,
members of any stratum of society can now freely air their
views freely whenever they wish. It was not so during the
period of our fathers and mothers.
Byambajavв -
It was a closed society, isn’t it?
Badamgerel -
Closed, you can’t express yourself, can’t worship
your religion, in general, there was not very much freedom.
I am happy to live a small part of my life … even for a
short period in this free society (laughs) .
Byambajavв -
Yes, of course.
Badamgerel -
Yes, (cleared her throat) When we our two daughters
were still young …I usually bought them two exactly the
same…twin clothes. When buying shirt I bought two exactly
the same one. And when we entered the shop my twin daughters
when they saw the same items they would say Mammy over there
“there are twin balls”. So they got an understanding the
same means twins. (cleared her throat) Now, at the
University they have a lot of confusion. Even their
colleagues in the same group confuse them (laughed).
Tsolmon…Uuriintsolmon studies in that, School of
International relations of Humanitarian University, as for
Tuya she is in Mongolian University… They are Uuriin Tsolmon
and Uuriin Tuya. Aa Tuya is a student at the Chair of
Psychological Studies of the Mongolian State University.
Then once Tuya went to the Tsolmon’s course and was standing
there, then several male students of Tsolmon’s course saw
her and asked in which room they‘ll have lecture. So Tuya
waited a while and said to them Tsolmon was sitting at her
lecture. Then those students burst into laughter and left.
People can’t distinguish them. Even bus conductors can not
distinguish them. It is really funny one day were travelling
in a bus together with a girl from their course then one of
twins gave her bus fee the conductor…she took it, after that
again the other twin also gave her fee but the conductor was
so bewildered that even forget to receive the money just
continued to stare at the twins. The girl of their course
who was travelling together burst into laughter making fun
of the conductor. So the conductor was at loss from whom she
received the fee and anyway she received the fee then …
until the next stop she could not take her eyes off
(laughed) from them and continued to stare. Exactly like
twins are born as a result of the division of a single cell,
there is also twins of two cells, so the twins of single
cells are alike just as a drop of water. Twins of two cells
are born as male and female or their facial features are
different. Our two daughters are of single cell and they are
perfectly identical. You saw them?
Byambajavв -
Yes, I saw.
Badamgerel -
Are they identical? They say that Chuka is our child.
The elder sister of the two… people are very funny. …eh,
eh…may be because she wears eyeglasses, aren’t they?
Byambajavв -
It is so, they often say that about Chuka []trans:
not Chuka akh or brother as in the text].
Badamgerel -
Yes, those people who attend our lessons on
scriptures say that. She… they think of Chuka, is a child of
this family. And they say how wonderful it is that the whole
family have such…a good…education, how wonderful it is they
often say. Then our grandmothers have their TV sets repaired
by my husband very often. My husband stopped drinking. For
the last two, three years he has not drunk at all…
Byambajavв -
What was the influence?
Badamgerel -
I don’t know really know whose influence it was
(laughed) could well be my influence. It is truly….mmm…
Byambajavв -
Of course, it was…
Badamgerel -
As for me there couldn’t be my influence. It was the
influence of our teacher. My teacher gives very wise
counsel. When your husband comes home, when he comes home
drunk a women usually keep herself free of him, distance
herself completely, cut him off from the surroundings. And
virtually push him away. Getting angry that he drank, did
this or that is tantamount to pushing him away (brushing him
aside). Women usually don’t feel the delicacy of the
problem. So my Gevsh teacher told me, don’t get angry when
your husband comes home drunk but you should treat him
nicely, give him delicous food, give what he wants, change
his clothes let him sleep. I never thought doing such a
thing. That dirty bastard comes back in mud soiled clothes
which had I cleaned, why should I treat him that way, this
thought came to my mind but I can’t say it my teacher, I
just kept it in my head. But I would say “yes” to my
teacher. Then after a while I began to follow his advice.
Then later I thought well, I should try to implement the
recommendations of my teacher, I’ll try not pay any
attention how much he drinks, how much money he spent, it
was usually in the range of 200, 300 tugrugs. Alcoholics are
difficult to deal with, my husband is not that much a
drinker. An alcoholic drinks without interruption through
day and night. Then my husband used to drink rarely but I
happened to be ill-mannered and behaved badly. I did not
feel myself that…mmm…so my teacher used to tell me “From my
observation I can say that it is you who are the
ill-mannered one, you are behaving badly, you are unable to
guide your husband and take care of him”. I defended myself,
saying on the whole I am right, why should I encourage him
for not drinking or this and that. So when a person behaves
stupidly, that person becomes a real fool himself. So I
thought about it quite lot. The teacher continued to tell me
do aan…this and that. Then at the end … he started to lose
his clothes and show symptoms of chronic alcoholism. So I
was resolved to try once again what the teacher recommended
me, I decided that, in spite of everything, we will spend
our entire life clinging to each other, if not me who will
prop him up. His father and mother discharged him from their
home, they now think that he has a good wife enjoy good life
and he has his own children. Mmm…we, the parents not even
suspect that the child has almost become an alcoholic. When
he comes home even though he doest not raise his voice in
drunken rage it is highly depressing to the children. He
comes in intoxicated and almost unconscious falls face down
and sleeps. So when in the morning he gets up and goes to
his work, there is no joy in the home, no such a thing at
all so it becomes almost unbearable. Then as advised by the
teacher…aaa…I started taken good care of him, when comes in
drunk I took off his clothes and put them in the washing
machine, fed him with good food…when he was drunk he would
not notice that. But when gets up the next morning his
clothes would be cleaned and pressed, he would take his
breakfast and leave for his work. However, before I used to
scold him “you foolish drunkard, again gulped vodka”
(laughed) and he had to leave without even thinking about
breakfast. So the after the scolding and quarrel in the
morning it is understandable how felt for the whole day. So
I followed exactly the recommendations of my teacher. At the
same time my teacher was in close contact with my family,
this Gevsh teacher of mine. When we were at summer camp he
would come and spend a night or two. While he was there…he
would speak with Batsukh…mmm…studied his characters, he had
considered what woud the best approach to him. Then he told
me he is such a kind man, your mistake was there. So I was
following teachers advice and to the end he quit drinking.
Now once he stopped drinking, he is trying hard to help his
friends, he is seeking ways and means to persuade them (stop
drinking). He gives a lot of advice to their wives. So I am
very glad. Now, I try not do anything that will hurt him
psychologically, I don’t say any bad words or start nagging
him you are not doing this or that…mmm…you could have get
this done et. That was also wrong, marital relations are
very precious. Not every one is aware of this… it is
regrettable there are very few who understands it. This is
what I think. And now when I watch the wives of Batsukh’s
friends who are drinking, they behave just I did in the
past, scold and reproach their husbands. So I try to
convince them not to do so. It is the worst possible option
and explain how or why Batsukh quit drinking. Since it is a
real live example a person gives some thought to it. Yes,
Batsukh used to drink and the reason he stopped drinking was
here to see. And occasionally some women call me on phone to
ask “this guy is drinking, what shall I do”. This is the
good effect. I always advise these people to attend …lessons
of my teacher, do this and that, follow the instructions of
your teacher diligently. Marital relations are the most
important thing…I doubt that every one is able to feel that.
Byambajavв -
It is rare.
Badamgerel -
Probably, it is rare, that is what I think, and then
I reflect over this from different perspectives. When you
look at it from different perspectives, every one has a
different character, so for some may be a light scolding or
some sort of pressure is needed. Aa, it is characteristic
for most of the men…mmm… to expect encouragement from women,
they just love that in my opinion. Now, I take pity of my
only son. What if he were to fall into someone’s hands and
be scolded and get lost for a while like his father did,
then he would suffer emotionally. That was a bitter story of
a man, it was also very sad past of mine. I didn’t
understand why he was drinking and when he was already so
depressed emotionally by my pressure I sank him down even
further. I did not know that thanks to my teacher…if my
father and mother were alive at that time they would have
also told the same thing to me, aren’t they?
Byambajavв -
Yes.
Badamgerel -
Intelligent person would tell you that. Actually, my
father told me about it. Before my father died my husband
used to drink 2, 3 times (in a month?). He used to say: my
daughter don’t scold him too much, you are a bit too harsh.
By loving the other you receive love in response. I did not
understand his words, that was terrible. Now at the end when
you are old you understand them.
Byambajavв -
Well, was it the influence of your teacher and how it affected your life.
Badamgerel -
Aa haan
Byambajavв -
In your opinion had it also impacted in this same
manner the life of other persons working in your
organization, is it?
Badamgerel -
Of course, it did, … on me?, on the others? If you
are asking could the teacher influence in such a manner on
the life those persons who are working in this
organization…on their life, I would say of course he did. I
believe that his influence reaches all his disciples. I told
you that when we started (lessons on Buddhism) there were
only 4, 5 people. After I started working here, I rarely see
those who attended the lessons from the very beginning. When
I see them occasionally, they are all in a good shape and
look fine. They are very peaceful and concentrated, most of
them have achieved a state of stability. Generally, I
believe that a teacher can influence your family life. If
those at the other end have a good receptive potential the
influence will come quickly. (laughed) It comes instantly.
Lack of potential creates problem, yes. If there is a true
lack of potential then what can we do. There are also many
people who reject the religion and its philosophy. When I
started attending lessons on (Buddhist) philosophy my
husband said that I was attending a stupid gathering, my
friends came to visit us and scolded me, so I cried for I
felt so lonely among them, I went into the kitchen room and
continued to cry, my husband reproached me that I was
attending a stupid thing and I became a fool. So I said it
is the religion of my father and mother, I am duty bound to
continue worship their religion. My friend who came with her
husband both showed me how to press on you, they told me you
are going to a truly stupid thing, why are you going there,
how could you go so crazy. So I had nothing to say and only
wept, letting out loud cries in my kitchen.(laughed) Now
every one…understood that I was going for the right thing.
But (before) even the co-workers of my husband teased and
insulted me when I visited him and speaking in a strange
voice “So you attend religious lessons, Jaa (yes), bagshaa
(teacher)” Now, when Batsukh has been changed and became a
very pleasant person their attitude had also been changed.
“Is that lesson truly so nice” when I reply “yes” it is.
They now often say I want my wife or my husband would attend
that lesson. So as you can see it has great influence, isn’t
it?
Byambajavв -
Yes, it has.
Badamgerel -
Yeah, Now this should spread in future like this
still further and further. I intended to direct my two
daughter towards this end…so that they learn the skill to
take care themselves in this society, the ability to judge
things from different perspectives, for that thought they
will get the skill from this…(Buddhist lessons). So I hoped
that one of my two daughters…mmm…will graduate from the
faculty where Chuka studied. The linguistics chair of the
University, that chair of Eastern studies, there is a class
of Tibetan language over there, I thought that one will
enter that chair, but I was unable, their interest
prevailed.
Byambajavв -
It will.
Badamgerel -
However, as for psychology, I am satisfied that she
is studying psychology. Because psychology is a very
beautiful profession and a very complex profession, isn’t it
?
Byambajavв -
It is very similar to the Buddhist teachings.
Badamgerel -
Similar, yeah, the other one is in international
relations, she studies many extremely interesting subjects.
My children always tell me what happened at the school, what
they did and the lectures they attended. Today, we studied
this subject, heard lecture on such subject, I’ll make such
a report, we’ll do this or that, we need these books or
those books and they tell me everything frankly, I am
extremely satisfied and content to hear their chattering.
They have, after all, chosen very nice profession. And I am
also confident that they have the ability to manage their
own life. As for my son, since he was ill from childhood, he
is a bit spoiled Baagii, Baterdene. However, he is very good
in English.
Byambajavв -
Is it so?
Badamgerel -
He has been watching cartoons and he himself taught
independently and learned English. When he entered the
school…he could speak some conversational English. So I am
now helping him to learn the language more thoroughly. He
was sitting at home alone watching cartoons this way
children usually learns the language very fast. Suddenly we
found out that he could speak quite a bit. He could not
write but could speak. So when he was in the first grade, I
sent him to this 30 day course. So he could write in printed
letters, he was very weak in grammar. Now he is studying
grammar in school. He frequently participates in English
language Olympiads. However, he hasn’t won any distinction,
has not won yet a medal. But any way, we are
satisfied.
Byambajavв -
That is enough.
Badamgerel -
For me it is quite enough. I never scold my children
for showing poor result, I don’t reproach them for bad
learning…don’t scold them. Because I understood too well
that if a person is under constant psychological pressure it
would be much tougher to overcome the encountering
difficulty. I now recall that as a rule my father and
mother…had never pressed me hard, in the first grade I was
the worst student (pupil). I understood nothing and did not
like to attend the school. I was a child who would cling to
the frame of my bed whenever father told me to go to school.
So my father… mmm…would pull me from my sash, we were living
in the countryside and children over there usually wear deel
(national robe). Then mothers asked to leave me alone, after
a while I would go to the school, I did not follow the time
schedule, if the lessons were to start at 1 o’clock, I would
come to my lessons at 3 p.m. I was such a spoiled child. …My
father and mother did not scold me for the bad
behaviour…never pressed me hard for my poor performance at
school. But on contrary I forced my wish on others.
Byambajavв -
Are you afraid of your teacher?
Badamgerel -
Of course, I am. There is such a big thing as the
eminence of the teacher. We are afraid to death of his
wisdom, erudition and merits. We lack the capacity to
contemplate… as he does. Therefore, we respect these great
powers of him and are afraid of him.
Byambajavв -
That esteem and fear do they impact positively on the activities of your organisation?
Badamgerel -
No, it does not, how can it, what do you mean by positively?
Byambajavв -
May be in good ways?
Badamgerel -
Oh, there is the good influence. It is because of our
respect and reverence of the teacher that our activities are
soaring high. If we were not to implement the task given by
our teacher, don’t respect our teacher our activities will
plunge down. Out of respect of his great mental power though
we can not fully satisfy the demands of his high intellect
and vision we are determined to carry out our work to the
best of our abilities. Even we are not able to cope with,
this man gave tremendous will to do something beneficial. He
gave us happiness, tranquillity of mind and it had a
profound influence on our families. Once I visited an
outside organisation, one of my friends was working as the
secretary of the Democratic Union. When I was sitting there,
it was time of an election and the people over there were
terribly funny (interesting), they were working under
constant tension. Hey, hey, there is a spy of the
Revolutionary party one yelled. Let’s take his picture and
in a big group they rushed out and were taken photos, then
yelled he fled, he fled. After that someone shouted hey, he
might broke the window and all of them crowded at the
window, thus they were all the time in confusion and
commotion. Then they asked each other who is going to win (
not join as in the text) from this party? We should know
that well, how many people are going to vote for the party,
is there any way to predict or to calculate it etc. It was
horrible, they were under (constant tension).
Byambajavв -
Negative
Badamgerel -
Yes, negative. All that bad energy affected me so
badly, while sat in that room I thought I would faint
(laughed).And they constantly heaped insults on the other
party, too eager to show that they are better than others,
always in fighting spirit, there is nothing like that at our
work. It is pleasantly peaceful here “This should be done,
we should do this” then everyone knows and caries out the
entrusted task, probably it is also like that in other
places, but not in many, however, I haven’t been many other
organisations. This was the only place I visited. Aa, I know
quite well the organization where my husband works. But many
negative elements always happen there. So…mmm…they usually
work in shifts. And one is supposed to make repair of TV
sets during his shift. While he is doing his work, then
someone from the other shift comes in and takes over the
other’s work, it looks senseless to me. Among all these
senseless chaos I am happy to find and see a ray of light
through the eye of needle, that is the tranquillity (of
mind). So when a person is peaceful at mind everything is at
peace and agreeable…and I think that success is the outcome
of all those pleasant and agreeable things.
Byambajavв -
Could you give your own impressions about the activities of your organization on the whole?
Badamgerel -
My own impression is extremely high. In our
organization including our teacher only 5 of us work. If
someone is absent we substitute her and make her job, it
should be done, she does this, let’s do it and thus we carry
on our activities without interruption. That is why I am
happy that I am here, at our organization. Of course, I am
happy returning home. My children grew up. We don’t have any
problem. Then after all happiness is when you don’t have any
illness, if you are overridden by illness useless are wealth
and knowledge in your head. Yes.
Byambajavв -
Yes, it is so.
Badamgerel -
Yeah, first…, I met Rinbouchi teacher and others,
told them my son was suffering from such an illness and had
him examined by them, since then my son’s disease was cured.
There is one Mrs. Khaidy, doctor of Rinbouchi teacher. Chuka
knows her well. She…gives a pill, a small white pellet
pills. That pill enhances greatly immunity of human body.
When you put it under your tongue it melts instantly, in a
second. Taking the pill, generally, energizes you, quite
interestingly. How does the doctor diagnoses a person? She
asks you to tell your stories and diagnoses you by the state
of your psychology. Isn’t it wonderful?
Byambajavв -
Yes, it is.
Badamgerel -
Yeah, the doctor will come this year. (0-51-29-30)
She treats patient psychologically. She would ask you what
difficulties did you encounter in your life, how did take it
psychologically, what was the most happy moments? And did
you suffer from severe illness, how did the illness hurt
you. How did you feel at that time psychologically she would
ask you. The interview takes awfully long time. It lasts for
about an hour or two. Then after that she gives you one such
pill. My son took twice that pill and his epilepsy was
cured. It apparently, in general, boosts human immunity.
Then of course there are different pills prescribed
according the diagnoses. She has plenty of small test tubes
containing those small pellets of white pills, the pill has
a sugary taste. Even the thought how it helps comes to mind
(laughed). But when you take it cures. I have taken a few
pills for who… Bilguunee. I now have them. Then I told Chuka
about it, but she said to me never mind, never mind I’ll see
some other good people or something this sort. She (Khaidy)
gave me two or three of those white pills.
Byambajavв -
Then can I take them, if you have.
Badamgerel -
The pills should be at my home among my things. I
took them to give Bilguunee. I think Chuka herself met her
and the pills were conveyed through me. I don’t exactly
remember whether they met or not. May be the teacher told
it, anyway it had an adjective (modifier) for
Bilguunee.(laughed) There are two or three white pills. f
now he is feeling good probably there is no need of it
(цагаан болцон?) you don’t need it, yes?
Byambajavв -
Well, I don’t know.
Badamgerel -
Tsermaa bagsh told me that he was feeling very
good.(0-53-36-38) Let them remain here (laughed). There is
no need to give many pills simultaneously, is there?
If she comes again this year why don’t you meet her
in person. Yes, three of you should come, she is my close
good friend. Yes, she is. She pays a lot of attention to me.
Byambajavв -
Do doctors from outside come to your organization and
make medical examinations and give drugs and injections to
the patients?
Badamgerel -
Only Khaidy comes. When Khaidy comes she examines
patients in this room, and gives from those pills. Then, it
is the state of mind of the person that most probably
responds to that pills, this is what I think. Aa, and we
have several projects in Undurshil soum of Dundgovi aimag,
explanation of Buddhist religion, training on felt art and
in all three projects are being implemented in Undurshil.
Foreigners give contribution to these projects, including
equipments, drugs and pills. Puujee teacher whenever he
comes during the summer gives substantial material and moral
assistance to welfare centre for children and prisons. He
visits prisons, prisons for women, prisons for men and
children’s prisons. Aa, welfare centre for children has two
groups, groups for junior and adolescent children. Summer
camp for junior and adolescent groups is situated in
Khnadgait, he visits the centre talks with the children,
play with them, distribute candies and fruits thus spends
the whole day in joy.
Byambajavв -
What kind of charity activities you personally think your organization should carry out in future?
Badamgerel -
I think that all the activities we carry out now meet
the requirements of people and serve as a foundation to
boost their spirit…mmm…improve their livelihood. So we would
continue these activities, to help them psychologically we
read the lectures on (Buddhidst) philosophy, teach various
living skill thus support their livelihood. We also help and
cheer up those depressed emotionally.(laughed) Then…if the
people concerned are determined (to change their life), our
activities will bolster them, they themselves will rise
up.(cleared her throat) We also had a visit of American
students. American students, students from Cambridge
University, a students of geography Charlotte also came.
Then it happened that she also attends a psychological
course. One day she asked me… to go together to see the
suburbs of the city so we went together then we had a real
fun. I took her to the summer camp and showed our house I
wanted to show her “This is how we live and show the true
picture of it”. So I took her to our summer house, hard to
say it is a house, to our wooden cabin. Then the most
laughable thing was that I left the key in car and slammed
door locking it. Cold rain was pouring, two of us were ice
cold, so we climbed up the Maikhan tolgoi (name of a place
Tent hillock) that mount and called to Batsukk who was in
the city. What shall I do, locked my keys inside the car I
told him. Charlotte asked from me a lot of questions: Where
were you… born, how did you pass your childhood, how about
your adolescence and your young age, when did you enter the
next stage, now in which stage you are in etc. She did not
tape record it but was writing down in hand. Since I don’t
know English, I talked a lot in my broken English. If I
expressed my idea more or less in approximation she would
grasp the meaning. So we spoke more or less by using our
hands and really showed each other how to communicate. Yeah…
and I asked for what purpose she was doing it. She replied
we make research material of history using these notes. So
when Chuka told me (about this interview) I thought it was
something of that sort. Is it, right?
Byambajavв -
Yes, it is.
Badamgerel -
Yeah
Byambajavв -
Similar
Badamgerel -
It is a similar thing, isn’t it? Yeah…she also did
exactly like this asked me (cleared her throat) to speak
about my life, my childhood, asked to remember father and
mother, since they were dead a person (myself) will be sad
and sighs, then she draws a line and continues. So she
writes down everything in her own hand, that student made
round marks on the two sides of her notes. Then at the
beginning… I was rather surprised to see what she was
writing and why she was writing it down, she asked me where
I was born, what were the names of my father and mother,
what kind of family I had. When I said ours was a family of
cattle breeder, she wrote it down. So seeing that I was
surprised she later explained me. But the funny side was
that we were standing in the cold rain, our keys locked in
the car, waiting for people to come from the city, thinking
that Batsukh will….come… and bring the spare key. Then when
we were standing two or three jeep cars arrived, one of man
came out and tried by his own key, it fitted perfectly and
opened the car door. So we came back…
Interviews, transcriptions and translations provided by The Oral History of Twentieth Century Mongolia, University of Cambridge. Please acknowledge the source of materials in any publications or presentations that use them.
